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April 15th, 2005

Complete U2 coupon @ 07:34 pm

mrslat:
I'm currently feelin: distressed distressed
I'm currently hearin: U2 // Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

I guess I'll put my Complete U2 coupon up for grabs. I don't know how much longer it will last-- I've had the iPod since December.

400+ U2 songs is way too much U2 for me, thanks. I'll stick to the albums and some of the more interesting B-sides and bootlegs. I don't need every single mix of "Vertigo" ever made.

Now, I could do the boring thing and give the code to the first person who posts their e-mail address, but that's boring, so.... you all have to post jokes. In two days, the person who posted the joke I liked the most will win the coupon code. If you want to speed things up, put your e-mail address in the same post as the joke, so I can just send it to you once I make my judgment.

Good luck! Be funny!

--Me
 
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From:el_nic
Date:April 15th, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC)
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An Irish joke:
What's Irish and sits on your porch?
Patio O'Furniture

lame? yes. wanting your code? also yes.
evnicolas at yahoo dot com
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From:glitterkittykid
Date:April 16th, 2005 12:17 am (UTC)
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Better when said out loud:

What did the fish say when it swam into the cement wall?


DAM!

Boom cha.

jmorga1@wou.edu
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From:mrslat
Date:April 16th, 2005 12:21 am (UTC)
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As the cool guy on TV in Home Alone 2 said:
"YOU'RE GONNA HAFTA DO BETTER THAN THAT!"
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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 06:10 am (UTC)
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Fitzwilliam.
Fitzwilliam who?
Fitzwilliam better than it fits me.
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From:starlightm42
Date:April 16th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC)
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hmmm. I don't have a joke, but I have a cool story. Wanna hear?
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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 06:14 am (UTC)
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Pediatricians are men of little patients.

Surely, you can at least think of a pun like that.
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From:specialcamper
Date:April 16th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC)
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Have you heard that Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are getting a divorce?

Yes, it's very sad, but Mickey went to see a divorce lawyer and explained what was
going on and why he wanted a divorce. The attorney was shocked and told Mickey
that he would have to do some checking and for Mickey to come back in a week.

The following week Mickey showed up and the attorney told him, "I've been
investigating your allegations and I don't think that you can prove that
Minnie is crazy."

"Crazy?" Mickey asked. "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f***ing Goofy!"
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From:canadanne
Date:April 16th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)

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LOL!!  I haven't heard that one before.
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From:rockingthemike
Date:April 16th, 2005 01:42 am (UTC)
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*busts a gut* If I were the one giving away the coupon, you would've just won for that....
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From:amyta80
Date:April 16th, 2005 12:54 am (UTC)
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I don't want the coupon...Don't have an ipod. I just felt like posting this joke 'cos even though it's kind of wrong, I still crack up every time I hear it...

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms
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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 06:16 am (UTC)
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"When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered.
Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Indecision is the key to flexibility."

Yours doesn't even match this one.
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From:clayboy103177
Date:April 16th, 2005 12:57 am (UTC)
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So this guy walks into a psychiatrist's office COMPLETELY wrapped in Saran wrap, and says "Dr. you gotta help me, I think I'm crazy."
The Pyschiatrist says, " Well I can see your nuts."

*rim shot*

Thank you I will be here all week!!!
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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 06:17 am (UTC)
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Good. Can I match it? Here goes...

Why are black men so tall?
Because their Knee-Groes
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From:carobanano
Date:April 16th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
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Hahahaa, I like being un-boring, but laziness won out. (Didn't matter, the coupon expired....so I'd be worried about yours, too. :/ ) Anyway, since I'm not in the running, I'll be different and tell a pickup line I heard today: "Hey baby, have you been hanging around dragons? Because I think you're smokin'."

Ah, medieval madness.
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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 06:32 am (UTC)

Better joke involving flame.

(Link)
Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common?
A: They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".
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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 06:27 am (UTC)

Multiple tries per entry

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1.
How do you change a blonde's mind?
Buy her another beer.

2.
If the opposite of "pro" is "con", then the opposite of "progress" is "congress".

3.
What do Monica Lewinsky and a Coke Machine have in common?
They both have a sign that says, "Insert Bill here, face up."

And because some people only laugh at Beavis and Butthead...

4.
Watchmakers do it for hours. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha.

That's all. Good night, and remember, biology grows on you!




Gophers are fun to poke

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From:typewriterking
Date:April 16th, 2005 07:07 am (UTC)

Re: Multiple tries per entry

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Right, email address, slipped my mind.

Typewriterking@cebridge.net

Yesterday's USA Today reported that scientists have revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of lager and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked incessantly without making sense, and couldn't drive.

Remember the capitol of Thailand, and goodnight.

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From:kissmegoodbye
Date:April 16th, 2005 04:17 pm (UTC)
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Oh, *not posting a joke*

I have one of those coupons too, if anyone wants it... :o
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From:specialcamper
Date:April 17th, 2005 04:19 am (UTC)
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i would like one
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From:septembergrrl
Date:April 16th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC)
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I don't really need 400 U2 songs either, but I have to try for this.

So there's a muffin tin in the oven, right? And one muffin looks around and says, "It's really hot in here." And the muffin next to him says, "AAAAAHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"

ba-dum-bump.

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