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October 26th, 2005

funny how things work out @ 09:21 pm

whatsername_31:
I'm currently feelin: numb numb

Well....Erin, my friend who was going with me to see U2 lost a very dear friend today, Hillary. Someone she had known for ten years. Someone I also was friends with, who in fact introduced me to Erin, got me my job which I am going into my third year on, and is one of my other friend's sister..

Don't know if that makes sense. We are a close knit group. And last night we lost one of our own. She died of a heart attack. Very sudden, very unexpected.

I may be going to see U2 alone, if my friend is too grief ridden to go. I am going to go though, because Hillary knew how much I was looking forward to it, and what it meant to me, and I know she would want me to go. it will be bittersweet now...

What a bizarre time to go to my first concert. I have never lost a friend like this before..so right now I am kinda numb. I am OK though, everyone just pray or send kind thoughts for my friend Erin and for Hillary's family.

What would everyone else do in this situation, or what do you envision you would do? I am hoping I am not being selfish in any way...if you know sort of what I mean....
 
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From:wire_tripper
Date:October 27th, 2005 04:33 am (UTC)
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I envision myself going. U2 ilike a spiritual healing. i think it would help me in such a situation.
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 05:38 am (UTC)
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Thanks. I agree. To me U2 is my church music.If that makes sense. Going there would do more than any service..somehow I will get there, even if my friend decides not to go. I sort of left that up to her.
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From:specialcamper
Date:October 27th, 2005 04:49 am (UTC)
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I hate to sound insensitive, but it reminds me of the joke about the front seat tickets...

I agree about the whole spiritual experience. Going to my concert was like an emotional wash down of all the crap I had been dealing with. I wish I had a ticket to the Oakland show, because I'm dealing with a lot of crap again and I need another sort of zen moment, if you will.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you are at peace.
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 05:35 am (UTC)
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Actually your first line gave me a laugh. We all have a bit of a dark sense of humor in our little group of friends...

I am going, and I am totally at peace with going and having a complete blast. She would want nothing less.
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 05:33 am (UTC)
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Thank you....music is very very healing. ATYCLB helped me, and many people through 9-11. And today "The Joshua Tree' got me through.

I am going. I have no clue how to get there, since I have only been to Dallas once, and have never driven in Dallas proper..hehe, but somehow I will make it happen.
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From:rockstarsex
Date:October 27th, 2005 05:11 am (UTC)
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That's horrible. I'm so sorry.

I think you should still both go to the show. I think it might help you to heal, to be honest. The show will probably mean more now. Keep that in mind.

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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC)
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I think so as well. I made my choice, but told Erin it was ultimately her decision as to what she wanted to do. That way she can deal with her grief the way she does and not feel obligated to me...

You are right. I think this show is going to mean much more now than it did before.
From:stdivine
Date:October 27th, 2005 05:59 am (UTC)
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So sorry for your lost. I would go with your friend, I lost my granfather in Sept of '00. I was very close to him, so when April of '01 came around I wasnt sure if I should go see U2, bc I was numb and drained. Let me tell you I never cried so much then felt better after those 2 1/2hrs of seeing U2.
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 06:18 am (UTC)
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Thank you.

Wow, that must have been really healing. I can not imagine losing a family member that close.

I hope my friend does decide to go. I know I am going to go.
From:striped_bouncer
Date:October 27th, 2005 01:00 pm (UTC)
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I feel very sorry for you, dear, and I shall say a prayer for you and Erin and Hillary's family. It must be incredible hard to loose someone out of a sudden, without any hint, someone you are so close to *hugs*.
I think that you should go to see the concert for all means. Not because I want to say that you payed money for the ticket and can't miss the world's greatest band -- none of that nonsense, because something like this doesn't matter right now. But I think that Hillary would want you to go there. To enjoy the music, to find healing in the songs. U2 songs have such powerful lyrics, may they be prayers or expressing hurt or loss or hope or joy. You can scream out your rage and loss to the faster, louder ones, and weep and shed tears of memories to the slowlier ones (like Kite or anything). Does that make sense? I'm sure you will find comfort in that concert, and the lyrics and melodies will become different for you. It will be harder, too, as I'm afraid, since you will be achingly aware that Hillary is not with you anymore, even more so on this concert the three of you wanted to visit. But maybe you can still take her there, for she will be with you in mind, be with you in spirit though not physically.
That is what I would do, I guess. Go there and find comfort and release in the music Hillary, Erin and you love so much. Where else will you find that much love if not on U2 singing right into your heart...
Be strong, and all my best to you and Erin.
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 08:59 pm (UTC)
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Thank you for the prayers:-)

I have been finding their music especially healing. For some reason, "The Joshua Tree" is the one I am listening to the most....
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From:kerbeetle
Date:October 27th, 2005 02:00 pm (UTC)
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If I were in this situation I would still go to the concert, perhaps carrying a white rose and hold it up during a certain song that might be the perfect dedication to your friend. Just a thought...
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC)
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That is a really beautiful idea..thanks.
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From:kerbeetle
Date:October 27th, 2005 08:59 pm (UTC)
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You're welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I know in my heart that she would've wanted you to enjoy the show so I hope that you will do so and honor her memory as often as possible, shout the lyrics to some of her favorite songs as loud as you can, just for her. :)
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From:jennypage
Date:October 27th, 2005 04:37 pm (UTC)
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I'm very sorry for your loss. It always hurts to lose a friend, no matter how close you are.

As many before have mentioned, music (especially U2) has special healing properties of its own. I sincerely hope that whatever decision you make, it will put you at peace. ♥
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC)
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Thanks:-)

I have decided to go...it is something she would nto want me to miss for the world.
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From:shardofnarsil
Date:October 27th, 2005 06:50 pm (UTC)
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I agree with everyone else's sentiments. Going to the show would really help you heal, remember wonderful things about your friend, and share that emotional experience that is a U2 concert. ((((hugs))))
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 08:53 pm (UTC)
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Thanks!*hugs*

I agree with everyone too...I guess I just needed to ehar other people think it was OK too.

After the response in this group I have to say U2 fans are the best fans in the world.

I am gonna go and have a great time. I am actually a little excited about it. I know she would want me to be.
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
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Thanks:-)

Yeah we had grief conselors here at work today, adn they agreed I should go. So I am going. I think Erin may go..she is just going to need more time to decide what is right for her..

and *hugs* back, because they are indeed a good thing.
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From:empresskatums
Date:October 27th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
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I went to my first U2 concert about a week after losing a close friend.

It was an incredibly powerful healing experience - I recommend going.
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 10:51 pm (UTC)
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Thank you so much. Just knowing someone else who had the same experience means a lot..

I am going to go..I know it will be very powerful.

I am a very big believer in fate, and I definately think this is one of those times when God knew this is what I would need.
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From:gwytherinn
Date:October 27th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC)
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I can definitely relate here. Although I didn't lose a friend, my boyfriend broke up with me about a month before the concerts. I had been prepping him for months about how amazing a U2 concert experience is and I never envisioned that when we went we wouldn't be together anymore.... It was definitely bittersweet.

Definitely go, and I would hope that Erin goes as well. (My name too!) I am going to echo what everyone else says in that U2 is a spiritual experience. And I don't think anything can beat hearing Bono sing "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" or "Walk On" when it comes to catharsism.
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 27th, 2005 10:49 pm (UTC)
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Wow. That would definately be tough t go after loosing a boyfriend. Sometimes that honestly as devastating as a death, because you are loosing something dear to you.

I have been praying they will play Walk On...that song has gotten me through so much.

I am definately going, adn I also hope Erin goes as well. I think it would help in the healing process. I told her that it would not be the same without her going, and it wouldn't. Ultimately though, she has to choose what is best for herself.
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From:gwytherinn
Date:October 30th, 2005 05:54 am (UTC)
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That would definately be tough t go after loosing a boyfriend. Sometimes that honestly as devastating as a death, because you are loosing something dear to you.

Thanks for that... I was worried I would be seen as disrespectful by comparing the two. It's been tough... As I'm sure it's been for you too. Hang in there, and I hope the U2 show is a wonderful, healing experience for you and your friend. (If she goes.)
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From:carobanano
Date:October 28th, 2005 03:08 am (UTC)
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I'm really sorry about the loss of your friend. I can tell from the above comments that you're going, so I hope you have a wonderful time and that it helps heal you (and maybe Erin).

I'll be thinking of you guys. :)
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From:whatsername_31
Date:October 28th, 2005 04:15 am (UTC)
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Thank you for your thoughts:-) They are very appreciated!

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