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May 1st, 2002

And She Is Still Gone @ 12:48 am

I'm currently feelin: thoughtful thoughtful

You Left And Made Me Someone
Now I'm Still A Child
But No One Tells Me No

So, yeah, that's a lyric from a U2 song. Why I am thinking about it, I have no idea. But I would like to explain my interpretation of those lyrics.

You Left And Made Me Someone

My mother died when I was still in high school. Not yet old enough to be on my own, even though some are at that point, but I digress. Her leaving me caused me to grow up quick. Learn for myself and that not always is someone going to be there when you come home anymore. Your security is gone....adapt.

Now I'm Still A Child, But No One Tells Me No

Her death caused me to grow up, yes, but I'm still just a child learning to be an adult without any adults to learn from. Make sense?
The second part of that lyric is that people change when you lose a parent at a young age. Those around you, mainly the adults (teachers, relatives, neighbors), are almost afraid to talk to you. Or so was the case in my situation. I even saw my father lighten up on me a bit, letting me do things I never thought I could get away with. Going to Atlanta and spending 3 nights there to see U2, all by myself was one of them. And maybe this relates to her leaving me and having me become someone on my own. It's as if they figure, "He isn't my child, so it isn't my place to say anything." I don't know. By the way....this all doubles when, after one parent dies, the other follows soon after. A slight feeling of freedom, a great feeling of uncertainty, abandonment, loss, and most of all...fear.

Take comfort in your friends, folks.
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Date:April 30th, 2002 11:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you for sharing that.

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