kohls_samurai and I in our infinite insanity have made up our own Larry Mullen Jr facts.
Larry Mullen Jr does not play drums, he beats them.
Larry Mullen Jr did the entire War album in one 32 minute session using only a garbage can, a bucket and some chopsticks he stole from a Sushi bar.
Larry Mullen Jr pierced his ear with his finger.
The real reason Larry couldn't be the leader of the band was his 17 different kinds of awesome caused fans heads to explode during concerts. To balance out the situation the lamest was selected.
Larry Mullen Jr breaks wood with his hands and the splinters that get stuck in his hands are later used as some drumsticks. Sometimes he doesn't even remove them from his hands.
Larry Mullen Jr CHOOSES when to grow wrinkles.
Larry Mullen Jr has superhuman strength. The source? His flowing, greasy locks. That's his mojo.
Larry Mullen Jr's body naturally produces his own styling gel.
Larry Mullen Jr's sweat is a natural aid to fight Hepatitis A, B, and C.
Once at a press conference, Larry Mullen Jr. was asked what he thought about drum machines. THere were no survivors.
Larry Mullen Jr does not run. Instead the ground beneath his feet rotates faster.
Larry Mullen Jr's rhythm keeps the rotation of the Solar System in balance.
Larry Mullen Jr does not need to adjust for tempo. Time adjusts itself out of fear.
Larry Mullen Jr caught Deep Throat, but decided to let him go to "make things more interesting."
Larry Mullen Jr grows abs and gives them to the needy.
The drumming in "Please" is not actually drumming, but a recording of the sound of Larry Mullen Jr's heartbeat.
Larry Mullen Jr owns Norway.
When asked why he never gets to solo Larry Mullen Jr replied "I don't want to shatter your perception of reality"
When Larry Mullen Jr gets drunk he actually gains braincells.
Larry Mullen Jr did not quit cigarettes. Cigarettes quit him.
- more like "Larry Mullen Jr. gives cigarettes cancer"
Larry Mullen Jr once met Chuck Norris and it was declared a "draw."
Larry Mullen Junior was named Larry Mullen Jr only because "Weapon of Mass Destruction" was already taken.
When the Grim Reaper dies Larry Mullen Jr. will come to collect him.
Larry Mullen Jr has a summer home in hell.
Larry Mullen Jr. actually wrote "Back to the Future parts 1, 2 and 3" except it was originally titles "The Autobiography of Larry Mullen Jr."
Larry Mullen Jr does not need windows to see outside.
Larry Mullen Jr sees you when you're sleeping. Larry Mullen Jr knows when you're awake. Larry Mullen Jr knows if you've been bad or good so be good for your life's sake.
Larry Mullen Jr's urine is considered champagne in all first-world countries.
Larry Mullen Jr has two settings. Drum, and be annoyed at Bono.
Larry Mullen Jr does not ride boats. Instead he fastens a pod of dolphins and rides them like a jet ski.
NATO made Larry Mullen Jr grow his hair to produce air drag to slow him down. Be glad it does.
Larry Mullen Jr does not drive his car. He steers all the other cars on the road out of his way with his eyes.
Larry Mullen Jr's *glare* cannot be photographed by man-made cameras.
Larry Mullen Jr stabbed Caesar first.
The British retain possession of Northern Ireland only because Larry Mullen Jr. lets them.
Larry Mullen Jr drinks motor oil prior to every show to "get him going"
Larry Mullen Jr's heart is a smallblock V8 engine.
Larry Mullen Jr is factory rated at 400 horsepower.
Larry Mullen Jr chiseled The Edge's jawline. Bono mocked him and Larry stabbed him in the jaw giving him a butt chin. Adam smartly nodded and backed away.
When Larry Mullen Jr tells you to Fuck Off And Die©, you do.
Larry Mullen Jr does not show up to tape U2 music videos. They film it without him and he simply appears on them.
Larry Mullen Jr actually is smiling all the time. You don't want to see him frown
Larry Mullen Jr. will never die. The only way he can die is if you kill him. Larry Mullen Jr. would like to see you try.
Larry Mullen Jr challenges statues to staring contests. The score so far?
- LARRY MULLEN JR - 1,345,147
STATUES - 0
Larry Mullen Jr dismantles atomic bombs during the encore break of all U2 shows.
We both need psychiatric help. We know, we know.