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February 23rd, 2006

Bono's life expectancy @ 10:44 pm

stay_please:
I finally got my beloved match of Blender today. I was beginning to think I had been schemed out of a subscription fee, subscriptions to Blender are nonexistant. That and U.S. News & World Report... I just received like 3 issues of that in the past 4 days. Maybe they're in cahoots..

/digression

Near the front of every issue of Blender, they have a little side-column ever so pleasantly title "When Will Your Favorite Pop Star Croak?" This month's rock star? Bono! I've charted it for you below, practically plagiaraized in every way (that sounds like a Mary Poppins line). Enjoy.

Birth date: May 10, 1960
Current Age: 45
Death Calculator Starts at Age: 79

Irish ancestry - average male life exectancy is 74 years.
-5 years

Stable Marriage: Wedded to Ali Hewson for 23 years
+5 years

Family: two daughters and two sons
+3 years

Healthy diet: Fresh fruit, low-sodium, carb-free hors-d'oeuvres.
+2 years

Neurobic: Poetic songwriter, screenwriter, excels at chess. (Who knew?? *waits for 14 people to answer "I did!")
+4 years

Accident-prone: Leaps off stage, rooftop dancer, wears dark glasses.
-1 year

Overcaffeinated: Bandmates say java makes Bono too hyper.
-1 year

Absentmind: Known for losting things, lost laptop with U2 lyrics. (they forgot how much he forgets lyrics)
-2 years

Optimist: Views the world through rose-colored glasses. (The same glasses that were accident-pronely dark, eh?)
+2

Health risks: Mom died of brain aneurysm, dad died of cancer.
-2

Spiritual: strong faith since childhood.
+2

Seriously goal-driven: Career, global activism, "most recognizable advocate."
+3

Loyal friens: Band members are surrogate family and confidantes.
+3


Bono shall live to the ripe old age of 92. Maybe we should do our own write-ups of the other three? ;-)
 
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From:courtknee
Date:February 24th, 2006 04:11 am (UTC)
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the last bit made me feel good inside
From:nonsvch
Date:February 24th, 2006 04:14 am (UTC)
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Adam can be my surrogate... husband.
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From:zoostation
Date:February 24th, 2006 04:15 am (UTC)
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I'll do it for Larry.


Is Larry Mullen Jr.
+infinity

Larry Mullen Jr. shall live to the ripe old age of infinity.
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From:samuti
Date:February 24th, 2006 09:02 am (UTC)
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I ENDORSE THIS COMMENT.

Also, at some point in infinity he'll give up U2, and run away with me. This is a Good Thing.
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From:rockontheedge
Date:February 28th, 2006 10:07 am (UTC)
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*drools at your icon*
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From:canadiens1160
Date:February 24th, 2006 04:35 am (UTC)
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Adam Clayton

Smoker
- 5 years

Huge schlong
+ 1,000 years

It'll be Adam and Khan Noonian Singh fighting for control of the planet in 1,000 years, you'll see.
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From:pride4u2
Date:February 24th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)
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It'll be Adam and Khan Noonian Singh fighting for control of the planet in 1,000 years, you'll see.

You win.
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From:courtknee
Date:February 24th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC)
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::dies and is dead::
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From:kafrun
Date:February 24th, 2006 06:07 am (UTC)
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Huge schlong
+ 1,000 years


omg.. BWAHAHA!! XD
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From:samuti
Date:February 24th, 2006 09:04 am (UTC)
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*dies*
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From:canadiens1160
Date:February 24th, 2006 09:38 pm (UTC)

Re-adjustment of my calculations

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Well, I never took into account an increased change of getting it caught in industrial equipment or fishing nets, so maybe it's a - 5 years as well for that ...

<_<
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From:mtheu2nut
Date:February 26th, 2006 01:52 am (UTC)

Re: Re-adjustment of my calculations

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LMAO!
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From:trinimacphisto
Date:February 24th, 2006 05:08 am (UTC)
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Healthy diet: Fresh fruit, low-sodium, carb-free hors-d'oeuvres.
+2 years

Fancy...
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From:peachy_ewan_muf
Date:February 24th, 2006 05:19 am (UTC)
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92! Woot, woot!

I knew about the chess part. C: And for some reason, Bono hyper made me think of a three year old after soda. Or me after chocolate. Funny image.
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
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From:canadanne
Date:February 25th, 2006 01:19 am (UTC)
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I learned about the Bono v Garry Kasparov game from our Trivial Pursuit cards, of all places. :)  I noticed there seemed to be an awful lot of U2-related questions in there, actually.
From:lumencuro
Date:February 24th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)

92 Years old

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Yes, I know much about my one of my best friend that also happens to be a rock star...

Of course, it is always good to have an idea on how long we will be in the midst of musical greatness!

*smile*
From:leelee_cakes
Date:February 24th, 2006 07:07 am (UTC)
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Make it 93, because I believe that because of it's insane effects on him, Bono has been forbidden to have coffee. He makes people insane. *G*
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From:rockingthemike
Date:February 24th, 2006 02:00 pm (UTC)
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*laughs* too funny... Thanks for sharing that.
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From:inklingfair
Date:February 24th, 2006 11:59 pm (UTC)
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The Edge.

At present: 44.

Same Irish life expectancy: 74.

Has Morleigh and kiddies: +5, +3.

Is a genius (eccentrics are known to live longer): +3.

Is going bald (80% of the body's heat escapes from the head when uncovered): -5.

Always wears a hat/beanie: +5.

Judges mobile ringtones: +8.313675.

Hangs around a lot of electronics. Electrocution hazard: -1.

ALWAYS Wears rubber-soled shoes for grounding: +1.

May know how to clone himself properly: X 100.

Life expectancy of first-generation clone: 9331.3675

Is best friend of exasperating Bono: -9257.3675

Total that. Then remember that the Edge is from the future.
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From:courtknee
Date:February 25th, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC)
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::falls down::
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From:mtheu2nut
Date:February 26th, 2006 01:53 am (UTC)
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That was great!
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From:rockontheedge
Date:February 28th, 2006 10:09 am (UTC)
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*claps*

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