Caitlin (stay_please) wrote in u2,
Caitlin
stay_please
u2

Bono's life expectancy

I finally got my beloved match of Blender today. I was beginning to think I had been schemed out of a subscription fee, subscriptions to Blender are nonexistant. That and U.S. News & World Report... I just received like 3 issues of that in the past 4 days. Maybe they're in cahoots..

/digression

Near the front of every issue of Blender, they have a little side-column ever so pleasantly title "When Will Your Favorite Pop Star Croak?" This month's rock star? Bono! I've charted it for you below, practically plagiaraized in every way (that sounds like a Mary Poppins line). Enjoy.

Birth date: May 10, 1960
Current Age: 45
Death Calculator Starts at Age: 79

Irish ancestry - average male life exectancy is 74 years.
-5 years

Stable Marriage: Wedded to Ali Hewson for 23 years
+5 years

Family: two daughters and two sons
+3 years

Healthy diet: Fresh fruit, low-sodium, carb-free hors-d'oeuvres.
+2 years

Neurobic: Poetic songwriter, screenwriter, excels at chess. (Who knew?? *waits for 14 people to answer "I did!")
+4 years

Accident-prone: Leaps off stage, rooftop dancer, wears dark glasses.
-1 year

Overcaffeinated: Bandmates say java makes Bono too hyper.
-1 year

Absentmind: Known for losting things, lost laptop with U2 lyrics. (they forgot how much he forgets lyrics)
-2 years

Optimist: Views the world through rose-colored glasses. (The same glasses that were accident-pronely dark, eh?)
+2

Health risks: Mom died of brain aneurysm, dad died of cancer.
-2

Spiritual: strong faith since childhood.
+2

Seriously goal-driven: Career, global activism, "most recognizable advocate."
+3

Loyal friens: Band members are surrogate family and confidantes.
+3


Bono shall live to the ripe old age of 92. Maybe we should do our own write-ups of the other three? ;-)
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