(Host: “Now to introduce the winner we have a special guest, live from a satellite orbiting his own ego.”)
Bono: “You see, different people have differing abilities to get across the drama, the tension, the... the percussive qualities of the word "fuck". I've tried, but... I'm but a student, I'm not fit to touch the hem of this master of the word "fuck" — my friend Bob.
You see from his lips, it's... onomatopoeia, it's a poetic device, it's tragicomedy, it's violence AND compassion.
Bob Geldof has told me to fuck off... perhaps hundreds, maybe even thousands of times. The same for Richard Curtis, the same for everybody in Make Poverty History. "Fuck fuck, fuck-fuck, fuck-fuck-fuck off," he said.
I'm so very pleased that upon asking Bob to do Live 8, we did not listen when he told us to fuck off. And I hope he is too, because a cheque worth $50 billion has been signed for the poorest people on the planet. Signed, but not cashed. Every time somebody buys one of these Live 8 DVDs, we put pressure on the politicians to cash the cheque.
Thank you very much for this award, and to my friend who's picking it up in all our honour....” [respectful nod] “....fuck off.” [trademark BonoSmirk]
(Bob Geldof: “Erm... thank you, er, Bono. Whatever.”)
Edit: It's repeated on Friday night / Saturday morning at 12:55am on E4, if anyone wants to catch it. Bono's message is about 40 minutes into the programme I believe.