July 18th, 2002

The Suit - Sad

That Song.........

I went to the drums earlier tonight and played, and played, and played some more. Crying, sweating, making noise...it felt good. I wasn't playing out of anger...it was more a place to go and think, oddly enough. With all that noise, it's a wonder I could even hear myself think, but I did.

I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone
Or anything at all

Whose to say where the wind will take you
Whose to say what it is will break you
I don't know, which way the wind will blow
Whose to know when the time is coming 'round
Don't wanna see you cry

I know that this is not good-bye.

I had seen U2 live in Atlanta in March of last year. They didn't play that song above. Wasn't on the set list yet for whatever reason. My father hadn't died yet either. Nor was it looking as though he was going to pass. Death never usually gives courtesy calls before showing up. Well, it did with my mother, but not my father anyway.

I saw the band again in Vegas in November of the same year. My father had passed...and so had Bono's. I cried as hard as I had ever cried when I heard him sing that song. I had to sit down. People were looking at me...not very nice looks either but I didn't care. Both my mother and father were speaking to me while he was singing....saying those lines over and over. From parent to child, and child to parent. It goes both ways.

I wonder sometimes, in whatever world is beyond this one, if my parents and Bono's have met. It seems silly sometimes, but it is a thought that makes me smile.
  • Current Music
    U2 - One