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August 9th, 2004

Enjoying the concert and making your SO happy @ 03:48 pm

Has anybody ever had the following experience?:

You take your spouse/Significant Other to their first U2 concert. Said SO likes the band but is nowhere near the crazy obsessed fan you are. After the show, Spouse/SO says they liked the show, but complains that you paid them little attention during the concert and feels like you didn't care that they were there with you.

My big question is how to avoid this situation. I mean, I'm there to see U2, I get into the show because, well, it's U2! But how do you get the most out of the show while enjoying the fact that you're thre with someone special to you?

The above experience happened when I took my ex to see Elevation. It was my fifth show of the tour so by then, she figured I would not be quite so excitable about seeing them. Problem was they played Out of Control for the second time on tour and, well, I went a little nutty! (can you blame me?) I was of course standing and cheering and jumping for the whole show, while she sat and looked disinterested for most of the show. Now, she was generally not into live music, but nonetheless, I have a new girlfriend now that I want to introduce to the U2 live experience, but I don't want a repeat of my last attempt at such an introduction!

So, what are the communities experiences and suggestions with this perilous endeavour??
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Date:August 9th, 2004 01:16 pm (UTC)
i had one of the the same at a Bruce Springsteen concert...and never again will I bring someone to a concert with me unless they are just as big a fan. You are there to have fun and enjoy yourself, regardless of the number of times you have seen said artist.

Personally, I wouldn't bring your gf unless she thoroughly enjoys U2. She doesn't have to like the music as much as you do, but I wouldnt bother bringing her unless she really wants to go. Ask her before and make absolutely positive she wants to be there.

Good Luck!!!
Date:August 9th, 2004 01:24 pm (UTC)
OK, this doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but for years I've always wanted to go to a U2 show with someone really special...I think it would just be incredible to have the most amazing person next to you while watching the most amazing band in front of you. I can't even imagine the feeling...

Barring some freak occurance, I don't see this happening anytime soon, but maybe by the 2010 tour...lol.
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Date:August 9th, 2004 01:46 pm (UTC)

it's up to the significant other in question...

It seems to have more to do with dating people who are mature enough to understand that going to a concert is going to entail the majority of one's attention being paid to the PERFORMANCE, not the SO....

if the bf/gf can't get over themselves long enough to go to a freaking concert with you and just be happy to see how excited and stuff YOU are to be there, and enjoy the performance themselves... you gotta question what kind of person they are in general, and sure as hell don't bother wasting your $$ on bringing them to shows since they haven't learned how to share the spotlight yet >;P

IMPORTANT SUBPOINT-- If they do go with you make sure you do little things like squeeze their hand or something occasionally, say something to them between songs etc, I can understand a SO being ticked off if you *completely ignore them* the entire time, like never once look at/talk to/touch them during the whole show, but there are quiet spots between songs and the like, use those to remind them you know they're there and you're happy they're with you to share the concert... it is a two way thing after all.

-- The married guy
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Date:August 9th, 2004 03:23 pm (UTC)
I can't say much since my ex dumped me basically because of my U2 obsession, haha. ^_^
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 9th, 2004 05:24 pm (UTC)
Well actually, something like this just happened.

I went to see Curiousa last week, and my boyfriend (ex?) insisted on coming along - even though he hates the music. He wanted to come so he could spend time with me. He didnt seem to grasp that I was there to see music, not him. Since I was there with other friends too, it really sucked, cause I had to put up with him being all mopey and all "I hate this music" ALL NIGHT. He just sulked, even when I tried to get him to look at the stars or something peaceful to enjoy the evening. Plus, he brought WORK to do - and did it DURING the PERFORMANCE.

So basically, because he HAD to "spend time with me" my concert experience was ruined.

So now Im reconsidering the whole relationship, because he was acting that way just to get at me in an unhealthy-passive-aggressive way, like his being there was some sacrificial gesture to me.

Volare, youre right, you are so right!
I will say one more thing - its ok to go to a concert with someone who isnt as much of a fan, as long as they are a fan - and are gonna enjoy themselves. People who know me know I get uber-obsessive over U2 and other bands - so they know im gona be crazy at shows :)

[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 9th, 2004 05:50 pm (UTC)
Ten years ago when I was 26/27 and thin and perky my husband was hella jealous. He worried about my U2/Bono obsession something fierce. Now I am 37 with my wrinkly U2 tattoos on my aged and weathered skin... eh... (40 is right around the corner) time heals all worries and complaints. He dealt with me flying from MT to the east coast to see them 5 times, he drove with me in the middle of winter over snowy mountain passes to see them in Seattle - he's just cool like that. He has his Dodge Chargers and I have my U2 and we are both to old n fat to find anyone else to date now. ;)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 9th, 2004 09:34 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah and I wouldn't get involved with someone who didn't get it, especially after having seen them live. But that is just me!
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 9th, 2004 10:35 pm (UTC)
Yea, you need to find someone who shares your passion. Why try to be with someone who is not perfectly compatible with you? Togetherness should be easy...not worked at.

[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 10th, 2004 01:40 am (UTC)
Any significant other of mine would be under absolutely no illusions about what is likely to occur when I enter the venue of a U2 concert. I'm the guy who ordered a friend out of his house because he mocked New Year's Day (bear in mind at this point that this guy likes music with lyrics such as "The Spirit of the Lord is in this house so let's bounce" and we'd just been discussing that fact, so I was at breaking point).

Also, any non-fanatic I drag to a U2 concert would most likely fully grasp the fact I'm attempting to convert them to the Holy Order of U2 Fanaticism rather than showing them any attention at all. I'd probably make some comment just before the start such as "Direct your attention to the stage and enjoy" and then leave it at that.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 10th, 2004 10:30 am (UTC)
For a first time attender of a U2 concert, I always ask if they know someone else who would want to come with them. Since I'm a guy, they need a gf to talk to. Bc, heh, heh, it's U2 and I will lose it, W@@T!! I did manage to convert a friend of mine to a U2 fan and his wife just rolls her eyes at us when we talk about that. She was with him when I took them to Elevation Anaheim on 4/26/01. That fall we flew to Las Vegas on his birtday and it was the fans that made it for him.

And yes, my GF is a uber U2 fan...we'll be out A LOT next year.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 10th, 2004 02:18 pm (UTC)
I don't think this is about u2. This is about your ex being, my apologies, a heinous bitch.

The evidence:

1. Who the hell isn't into live music? That's like hating puppies. With U2 you don't even have the "smoky, crowded, smelly club" factor of a lot of smaller shows, which I admit can be not a lot of fun.

2. She criticized you for not being all. about. her. for, like, three hours (I'm assuming you were normally an attentive boyfriend and this wasn't your one chance to see her all summer, or anything.). You go to a concert to listen to music, not to make out with your SO, and she should understand that.

If your new girlfriend is human, it shouldn't be a repeat.

Now all they need to do is TOUR.

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